First off, Happy New Year to everybody, and I wish everyone the best. May this year be full of life for you!
Now to my blog topic, Anger. I often feel this emotion daily, and not because someone bothers me or anything, but instead the way some lives close to me panned out. Now, there is no one to blame because that’s life, and death comes with the territory. But, I feel angered that good people, people that I love, went too soon. And, just to clarify, I am not angry person at all. This emotion is just simply something that is internal. It doesn’t effect me as much externally, but it certainly hits my core. To be totally truthful, I’ve never enjoyed my birthday either because those I loved either died around my birthday, or actually on it. I always feel like I’m holding myself back from being truly happy too because I know that I shouldn’t be harping on this, but the anger inside, is too much to fight away. It’s like a demon inside of me that won’t let me go, as if I signed some contract in which I have to serve for life.
I’m not quite sure though, how I can ever put this issue to the side. It’s at the point where it not only is a daily emotion that I go through, but it’s effected other things. My faith for one, has all but been lost as a result. I can also say pain, and tears have become something of rarity. I’ve gotten to the point on occasions where I can say I’ve become numb. I’m actually one of those guys too that don’t mind expressing their emotions. It doesn’t make you feminine to express yourself, like the majority of the world might think. You are a human, and humans express themselves. Gender should never be an issue because I can tell that when you express your emotions, it’s such a relief. You clear the air, and feel much better. It’s also just being real, and not fake. I might be tailing off my blog topic at hand, but I think you got the gist. I’ll figure something out one day to try and put this in the past, but it’s hard not be angry when you see a family photo, and half are not even around anymore.