First off, Happy New Year to everybody, and I wish everyone the best. May this year be full of life for you!
Author: Holger Thölking
Now to my blog topic, Anger. I often feel this emotion daily, and not because someone bothers me or anything, but instead the way some lives close to me panned out. Now, there is no one to blame because that’s life, and death comes with the territory. But, I feel angered that good people, people that I love, went too soon. And, just to clarify, I am not angry person at all. This emotion is just simply something that is internal. It doesn’t effect me as much externally, but it certainly hits my core. To be totally truthful, I’ve never enjoyed my birthday either because those I loved either died around my birthday, or actually on it. I always feel like I’m holding myself back from being truly happy too because I know that I shouldn’t be harping on this, but the anger inside, is too much to fight away. It’s like a demon inside of me that won’t let me go, as if I signed some contract in which I have to serve for life.
I’m not quite sure though, how I can ever put this issue to the side. It’s at the point where it not only is a daily emotion that I go through, but it’s effected other things. My faith for one, has all but been lost as a result. I can also say pain, and tears have become something of rarity. I’ve gotten to the point on occasions where I can say I’ve become numb. I’m actually one of those guys too that don’t mind expressing their emotions. It doesn’t make you feminine to express yourself, like the majority of the world might think. You are a human, and humans express themselves. Gender should never be an issue because I can tell that when you express your emotions, it’s such a relief. You clear the air, and feel much better. It’s also just being real, and not fake. I might be tailing off my blog topic at hand, but I think you got the gist. I’ll figure something out one day to try and put this in the past, but it’s hard not be angry when you see a family photo, and half are not even around anymore.
Gambling can become extremely addicting, and when you win, you get the taste of wanting more. That’s exactly what happened to me, and it’s things like this, you wish you could travel back in time. Now my experience might not be as bad as others, but I fell trap to the same mistakes that come with it certainly. I have a niche for correctly picking sports right, and I put it to the test with the incentive of making money. I was extremely successful to start, and I’m at my best picking UFC fights usually. I invested $500 dollars, and in about 2 weeks I was up to $14,000. At that point I withdrew $2,500 dollars, and everything went smoothly. After that, it’s an honest blur as to what happened, and I lost just about all of it. I look back, and say it’s not all that bad because I made out winning money, but still. I think the the fact that I let greed take me over, made me re-evaluate not only what I was doing but myself. There is a light to this though, and that was the experience. I can say this experience taught me some lessons that further strengthened me. For one, I used to think I had great self control, but I was proved I’m not invulnerable, which also attributes to just being human. I think though, the greatest thing I learned is that there are no true winners when it comes to gambling because it changes you as a person. I used to love watching sports for the pure enjoyment of an exciting game, but I found myself sweating bullets during games, often yelling at the screen like that would help in some way.
I suggest all together though to stay away from gambling. There is a higher chance you lose than you win, and it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure that out. Even these so called expert websites get most of their picks wrong, and the only money they are getting is from the consumer buying into their program/subscriptions. I certainly do not condone gambling, and I think if you do try it, only do it on select days, and do not wager a lot. It’s all about limiting yourself.